Latest Project
Saturday’s column had me talking about the propensity of some of the Northwest’s denizens toward “playing in the garage”. I figured I would enlighten you, my glorious, two-member readership, as to what that actually entails. Therefore, we catch up with our heroes, Mr. Fixer and The Carpenter, as they continue work on the latest “playing in the garage” project.
The latest project is a small dirt bike purchased for The Carpenter’s son. This small dirt bike weighs no more than 40 pounds. It’s small. But, it won’t start. Therefore, there’s a REASON to be “playing in the garage”.
Now, the guys have spent two consecutive weekends working on this little bike. They’re trying not to “let the smoke out” which has something to do with a power source known as a “magneto”. (I don’t know what it is, what it means or what it does, but I think it’s funnier if you don’t know!) And they’re hoping to get the thing started so that they can troubleshoot the rest of the issues (ie: why the throttle is slow to return and why the gear box thingie is doing something it’s not supposed to).
The Carpenter is suggesting pull-starting the dirt bike. This is a bad idea. There are only two ways in which someone can do this: A) pulling the little dirt bike with the slightly-but-not-by-much bigger dirt bike, or B) pulling the little dirt bike with the big-as-a-house-by-comparison Dodge truck.
Hmmm, how could this possibly be a bad idea?
The Carpenter says, “Mr. Fixer,” k-shhhh (the sound of a beer can being opened), “we really need to pull it. If ya can’t get somethin’ started, stick it in gear and force it!”
My dear darling husband, still sober enough to refuse, says, “There’s gotta be another way. Did it ever start?”
Looking at the two of them, I put a quiet-voiced query to my husband. “What does a combustion engine need to run?”
He thinks about it for a long time – maybe .015 seconds – and says, “Spark, compression and fuel.”
The look of confidence in his eye tells me this is the right answer. (Hey, I know words, not motors and engines and tools.) So I ask which of those three things the little dirt bike didn’t have. It had all of them. So I then – following the logical progression – asked which one/s Mr. Fixer was certain were good. That’s when the Weekend Heroes decided to check the fuel-to-oil mixture.
It seems that a dirt bike has what’s called a “two-stroke” engine. It also seems that two-stroke engines require that their owners mix oil with the gasoline. Instructions for doing this are, supposedly, on the back of the two-stroke oil bottle. The bottle the Carpenter had suggested a mix of 34 to 1. This could easily be interpreted to mean 34 parts per gallon, right? So, the person who works with hammers for a living mixed 34 percent oil with 66 percent gasoline.
That’s not what the bottle means. The bottle means, Mr. Fixer calmly stated, that the recipe calls for 34 parts gasoline to 1 part oil. Hmmm, big difference. And, lo and behold, upon draining the old gas and adding freshly mixed gas, the little dirt bike started.
“Hooray,” you think. “This is great news. We’ve had success! Yippee!”
Yes. The little dirt bike started. At 9:30 pm. And it was LOUD! Very, very, very LOUD!!!! (I hope the excessive use of exclamation points gets the point across.)
The Carpenter, “K-shhhh”ed open another beer and grinned with pride. Mr. Fixer did not “K-shhhh” open another beer. Why? Because he was ON the little dirt bike doing a test drive.
Yes. Mr. Fixer sat perched upon the barely-eight-inches-off-the-ground seat of this little, LOUD dirt bike at 9:30pm. Yes. He took a victory lap of sorts, three-quarters of the way down the street. He then walked the silent bike back to the garage stating that figuring out the gear box and brakes would have to wait for another night.
It is times like this when I truly begin to understand the line from that old Country song: “Old enough to know better, but too young to care.”
Until next time…
D. S. Vic
Please include Northwest Journal in the subject line of all Email. JD_DSVic at yahoo.com
Copyright © 2010 D. S. Vic
All rights reserved.
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