Hazardous Commute
I will sometimes get up early in the morning to do these posts. Usually that isn’t a problem. My commute is less than five feet from my bedroom to my office. Tonight, however, its a bit more of a challenge because my grand kids are visiting.
Visiting grand kids mean things on the carpet. Toys, mostly. Sharp toys. And since the carpet is a dark green and I rarely turn on the hall light, a very good chance I will step on them.
Tonight was no exception. Let’s see, one toy car, a Darth Vader action figure, two light sabers (got a clue what they love?), and a fish.
I don’t have fish in my house. Plants, yes. And lots of pictures. No fish.
It’s midnight and the kids are asleep. As tempted as I am to wake then to find out how or where they found a fish, I will be patient. The fish is no longer with us, but I’m keeping it in a plastic bag as evidence.
My grand kids are very creative and clever. I’m sure the explanation will be … interesting.
The View From Here is published every Sunday.
Copyright © 2010 Moody Publishing Co
All Rights Reserved
On The Road
Coming up at the end of this month I’m going to be taking a little trip to the coast. I’m greatly looking forward to this adventure as it’s been more than 18 months since I’ve seen my beloved Pacific Ocean. Oh, and visiting with friends and Mom… those are important too.
Really, there’s only one thing I’m not looking forward to. It’s going to be a long drive.
Now, the drive in and of itself is no big deal. I love driving. However, the Mud Dog is not the most polite driving partner. He loves to go for rides, but he has an exuberance issue that I haven’t quite been able to master. (Hey, don’t rush me. I’ve only had the Mud Dog for ten years.)
The exuberance issue begins the night before departure. Once the suit case, box of cassettes and munchies, Mud Dog’s blanket, Mud Dog’s food, Mud Dog’s chewie and Mud Dog’s water are in the car, Mud Dog alternately trembles, pants and bounces. He’s not a small dog, therefore the bouncing is rather humorous; unless, of course, he’s bouncing upstairs while I’m downstairs.
Anyway, once we’ve all gotten a little sleep, morning will dawn and Mud Dog will be somewhat normal. He’ll be normal until I pick up his collar. The sound of the collar will set him off and while he’ll do his best to sit patiently so I can fasten it about his neck, his paws will be tapping the floor. Once the collar is fastened there’s no calming the beast until a day and a half AFTER reaching our destination.
I plan to be on the road by 7am. This means that about 20 minutes later we’ll have our first pit stop – so that Mud Dog can fertilize a bit of God’s not-so-green earth. Then will come the leaping from front seat to back seat amid a flurry of breathy huffs and chuffs, tongue hanging out about as far as it possibly can while remaining connected. This particular stage of the drive – accompanied by the occasional, “Damn it, Mud Dog, knock it off!” – will last from about Nampa, Idaho to, say, Portland, Oregon.
During a lengthy drive such as this one, Mud Dog will calm down and sleep for about the 90 minutes between Portland and Astoria. Once we get to Astoria, however, the familiar scents and sounds will have him pasted to the window (if it’s warm enough, his head will be OUT the window). I fully expect him to dance, prance and whine from the second we hit Chinook until we actually get to Mom’s house. That could well be the longest ten minutes of the whole drive.
The last time Mud Dog and I made this trip it was the second week in April, two years ago. That time, we were traveling in my beloved – and much mourned – black, F150, manual transmission pickup.
–As an aside, don’t park your beloved truck on the street or some stranger will fall asleep at the wheel, plow into the left rear, total your truck and leave you growling about foolish people who fall asleep at the wheel!–
The pickup had vinyl seats. My Married Lady Car (Ford Crown Victoria) has velour seats. This may seem like an insignificant difference, but I promise you it is not. With the velour seats, and Mud Dog’s penchant for sniffing every window and sitting in every seat, this means that there can be quite the static electricity build up. This means I will most likely be shocked quite frequently! Grrr.
Damn it, Mud Dog, knock it off!
All things considered, I’m very eagerly looking forward to this trip. I miss my Mom. A lot. And I miss my friends, church, the ocean and the marvelous explosion of vibrant, living greenery.
Maybe I’ll stay a little longer than originally planned. Maybe I’ll head out a day earlier. After all, if I’m coming in Friday, I’ll get there just in time for the traffic. And, because it’s going to be a “clam tide weekend”, everyone and their dog will be heading toward the peninsula.
Huh… Maybe I should leave at 6!
Until next time…
Please include Northwest Journal in all correspondence. JD_DSVic at Yahoo.com
Copyright © 2010 D. S. Vic
All rights reserved.
Confessions
Hello. My Name is D. S. Vic, and I’m a Facebook addict.
In this life there are many things people do to relax and unwind. As mentioned, my preference is playing games via Facebook, Big Fish Games and a plethora of other sites over the years. I love to sit here in front of the computer and just turn my brain off (most of the time).
Sometimes the turning the brain off part doesn’t work so well. In those cases, I choose games that allow me to process my issues while keeping my hands and eyes busy.
Lately I’ve been spending a lot of time on Facebook playing Café World and Zoo World and Farmville. I greatly enjoy the (insignificant?) feeling of accomplishment when I get to serve a dish, improve my menagerie or harvest a large crop. I like it when the game audience cheers for something I’ve done. See? Even in pixel format I’m seeking fans.
Sigh.
Anyway, I’ve long known I’m really just a misunderstood couch potato. I’m a computer spud. While other people are out exploring the world around them, touching and feeling and experiencing and playing in the “real world”, I’m here in my safe little burrow. I like it here. There’s coffee readily available. There’s pizza delivery just a mouse-click away. There’s a bathroom right next to the office/computer room. It’s safe here.
Mr. Fixer is not of my particular persuasion. He wants to build things, touch things, tear things down, fix things and in general, interact with the “real world”. He likes to explore his environment in a tactile way. I like to explore my world in an imagination/keystroke kind of way.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t spend all day every day on the computer. In fact, there have been a few days when I haven’t even entered the office at all. And, whenever Mr. Fixer draws my attention (which is a lot of the time, by the by), I am wholly immersed in him. After all, had I not disconnected from the computer and chosen to take a little ride with him, how would I have discovered that it IS possible to rig up a manual, gravity feed, fuel delivery system?
Still, my dear, darling husband’s brand of adventure – blowing off steam – sometimes scares me. For instance, he recently had a rough day at work. There was some vehicle which was causing him all sorts of different problems, requiring him to spend almost 10 hours on a job which called for 5. He finished that particular vehicle but still had a lot of pent-up frustration. Therefore, he decided to teach Odie how to Luge.
Now, I’m not sure if it was really the frustration of the day or the recent end of the Olympics, but for some reason, Odie was fully interested in learning about this two-man bobsled idea. I’m thinking that the Babysitter was either away from his post for a few minutes or – more likely – foolishly trusted Mr. Fixer to not do anything reckless.
Regardless, the husband climbed to the top of the mountain (in this instance, the staircase to the loft of the shop) with his sled (a large, cardboard box). He set the sled at a precarious angle at the top of the stairs, stepped in and propelled himself down the stairs and half-way across the empty shop.
Shakes head.
Odie couldn’t resist. He wanted to try it. Somehow, though, Odie had the sense to not want to do it alone. Such activities are dangerous, don’t you know. Mr. Fixer, however, blowing off steam, tricked innocent Odie into getting into the sled/box first… then PUSHED IT, and Odie, over the edge!
The phone call describing said event to me had both crazy goobers’ laughter, so I knew both of them were okay, but still…
I’ll let my husband, and Odie, take on those dangerous activities. I think I’ll stick with my farming. The worst damage I’ll get is a blister on my little finger… maybe a blister on my thumb.
Until next time…
PS. 10 points for anyone who can tell me from what song that last line comes.
Please include Northwest Journal in the subject line of all correspondence. JD_DSVic at Yahoo.com
Copyright © 2010 D. S. Vic
All rights reserved.
What I Want To See On YouTube
I discovered multitracking on YouTube this week and suddenly remembered something from my college days that I would like to see done. More on that in a moment or two.
One of my current favorite multitrack favorites is the Star Wars Tribute (John Williams is the man.) Songs from Close Encounters of the Third kind, the theme from Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, Superman, E T The Extra Terrestrial, Jurassic Park and Jaws are combined in a fun medley.
Another of my multitrack favorites is Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah as sung by Courtney Woolsey. I also like her take on Lollipop, a song made famous by the Chordettes (scary part here, I actually remember having to play this song on one of the many radio stations I worked for.)
That brings me to what I would like to see on YouTube. When I was in college our theater group put on a talent show and opened it to anyone who wanted to participate. We kept one of the songs a surprise, rehearsing it in secret and performing it only on the night of the show.
When the curtain opened a beautiful blonde in a tight red dress came out and the band played a single chord, then she started to sing “Rubber Ducky” as a Torch Song, in a breathy Marilyn Monroe style. The result was hilarious!
I would love to see someone do a video in this style and put it up on YouTube. The most fun video I’ve found so far of the Rubber Ducky song was done by Little Richard.
So. Any takers?
The View From Here is published every Sunday.
Copyright © 2010 Moody Publishing Co
All Rights Reserved
Truth in Advertising
I am not now, nor have I ever been, normal. I have an off-kilter perspective. I have a larger-than-life body. I am taller than most of the women and men I know (or see). I have an odd sense of humor which can not be accurately called “wit”. I am unusually forthright about those things I consider to be my personal flaws. And, while I might not say it out loud, I am usually thinking something that is definitely NOT politically correct!
Don’t get me wrong here, I’m not mean spirited. I very rarely think – and even more rarely say – something mean or truly rude about someone else. But, I’m tired of beating around the bush or couching my true thoughts/ideas in order to avoid implied insult. There are some things I refuse to pretend about.
If you’re going to call your pizza “fromage a trios” it better have a LOT of cheese on it, not just three kinds of cheese!!! (for those not in the know, “fromage” is French for “cheese”)
This past week I went into a local pizza place. They’re extremely popular and you may have seen them on “Man V. Food” this past October – if you have cable/satellite. Flying Pie Pizzaria is a Boise staple which serves gourmet (and normal) pizza. They have a pizza, only in August, called the Triple Habanero. It’s so hot that if you’re going to take left-overs, you have to sign a waiver before you can take them off the premises. This was the featured pie on Man v Food.
Anyway, I visited this place because Mr. Fixer wanted pizza for lunch. I figured that since he’d been talking about it since I moved here, I would give Flying Pie a look-see. While I was waiting, I saw something new and interesting every time I turned my head. There was even a HUGE ball of foil near the door which customers could add to as they so chose. It was a big ball of foil. (I think the sign said it was 267 lbs, but it might have said 167. I just can’t remember the specifics.)
One of the things I perused while waiting was the Boise Weekly. In it there was a cartoon which has become my favoritest ever! The cartoonist is E. J. Pettinger, and the cartoon is Mild Abandon. While you can see a bunch of cartoons on the website, the one that tickles me so much was published on March 3rd, 2010. It can be found, here.
Did you check out the cartoon? No? I’ll wait. Go check it out now.
Drums fingers.
Okay, now we can continue.
Thank you, E. J.! Finally, those of us who have heard “morbidly obese” so many times that the phrase has lost any meaning; finally we have a name for those work-out nazis. There IS such a thing as being too healthy.
I don’t want to be morbidly fit. Another slice of Fromage a Trois, please! This time, make it a double!
Until next time…
D. S. Vic
Please include Northwest Journal in the subject line of all correspondence. JD_DSVic at Yahoo.com
Copyright © 2010 D. S. Vic
All rights reserved
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